Alternate Endings
by twilightlover001
Summary: Alternate endings to events in the series. Fluff, violence, unexpected plot twists. More info inside. Humor, drama, adventure, hurt/comfort, family, friendship will all eventually be inside. Mostly one-shots.
1. The Most Embarrasing Mistake

_This is kind of just a test one-shot I'm doing to see if people like it- I had a random idea that I might create an Alternate Endings series where I start out with events from the real books but then some really random plot twist occurs. There might be major events, like Snape's Worst Memory, or little things, like Harry and Cho in the Room of Requirement, or long-forgotten things like Severus and Lily, or even alternate storylines, like maybe Petunia was a witch after all, among other things. Enjoy!_

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**~ The Most Embarrassing Mistake ~**

"…My mum sent me them, they've got firewhisky, I don't like those much. Here." Romilda pressed the red box into Harry's hands.

"Er- thanks," Harry said, having been caught off guard. "Great, I was hungry. Mind if I eat them now?"

"Oh, not at all Harry, go ahead," the pretty brunette said sweetly, batting her eyelashes at him. "Go ahead."

Harry smiled at her and plopped down on the couch, opening the treats.

"Mmm, these smell great," he enthused, slowly chewing and swallowing the Chocolate Cauldron. All of a sudden, the most peculiar feeling overwhelmed him. For a few moments, he felt as if he were floating, with amazing smells whirling all around him. Slowly, his eyes refocused on the room around him, and it was then he became aware that the circle of girls was peering intently at his face. However, it was only one that caught his eye.

"Romilda," he whispered, touching her face softly. "You're captivating, love."

Her face lit up like the sun as she shooed her friends away. "As are you, Harry. Up to your dorms?"

"Of course," he replied, his viridian gaze filled with adoration. He carefully lifted her up and carried her up the stairs to the Gryffindor boys' dorms. He set her down on his bed and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Together forever," he murmured and captured her lips in an innocent kiss. They might have been like that for seconds, minutes, hours, or possibly several sunlit days.

However long it may have been, they were rudely interrupted by a flustered-looking Hermione.

"Har-" she started, but yelped as she saw what was going on. A blushing, annoyed Harry turned to face her.

"Leave us alone," he snapped. Why was she interfering? "What are you doing? You're dating _Ginny! _You don't love _her." _Hermione gestured to Romilda, who narrowed her eyes.

"Oh yes he does. That redhead blood traitor-"

She didn't get any further, because Hermione's fist landed on her jaw. At which point Harry got off the bed, whipped out his wand, and pointed it at his friend. "You will _get out _this minute and leave my girlfriend alone or so help me, I will hex you so bad you can't tell up from down."

"You've bewitched him!" Hermione shrieked, pointing an accusing finger at Romilda. "What did you do?"

"She hasn't done anything." Harry said, getting angry. "Besides stealing my heart… now please, leave us alone," he said, healing her jaw and kissing her. "I mean it." Enraged green eyes met hers.

"Fine. I _will _be back though. You've lost your mind."

"Good riddance," Harry muttered, more to himself, as he resumed snogging Romilda. She responded happily, enjoying her time in Harry's room. Lavender and Parvati were going to have a ball with this news. They would publicly announce their relationship, and she could get to know Harry better. They could play wizard chess in the common room, and go to Hogsmeade on Valentine's day, to Madame Puddifoot's tea shop. _She _wouldn't embarrass him like that dumb Cho Chang, she thought jealously.

The door whooshed open again. "There!" a voice crowed. Romilda and Harry pulled apart again, ready to murder whoever had caused the disturbance. "WHAT IS IT?!" the two shouted in unison. "We're trying for a private moment here!"

"_Harry?" _a hurt voice called. A girl's voice. What was going on?

"Who on Earth is it? If it's another one of my fan club, sorry. I've found my soul mate."

"_Soul mate? _Harry, I'm your girlfriend. What are you doing with that- that piece of trash?" she said, referring to Romilda. In a flash, Harry was in front of her with his wand at her throat. "_Nobody _calls my girlfriend a 'piece of trash' and gets away with it," he snarled.

Ginny's eyes widened as she realized what was happening. Just yesterday, Harry had assured her that he would always be hers… because…

_She walked towards the nearest bathroom, her robes swishing around her black uniform shoes. When she got in, she heard loud giggling and whispers.  
"Yeah. I'm going to slip it into some gillywater and also Chocolate Cauldrons. I saw him eating some on the Express. He likes them."_

"_D'you know that Filch has been checking mail? And that he put a blanket ban on Weasley's Wizard Wheezes products? He's going to notice a Love Potion."_

"_Fred and George understand. They've offered to send it in a cough-syrup bottle."_

"_Nice! You're using medium-strength potion on him, right?"_

_Ginny listened in, alarmed. These girls- Lavender, Parvati, and Romilda Vane- were going to slip a love potion to some poor boy. Who was it, though? She listened closer._

"_Yeah. The Boy-Who-Lived is totally mine, girls."_

"_One fine piece of man," another voice agreed._

"_I hear he's got a hippogriff tattooed across his chest," came a third. Ooohing and aahing came from the other side of the restroom._

_Ginny left the room on cat's feet._

"Finally figured it out? Man, you're thicker than peanut butter," sneered Romilda.

Ginny shoved the older girl out of the way. "Harry."

But he wasn't paying attention to her. He was wrapping his arms around Romilda, murmuring, "What was that all about?"

"Nothing, baby. Just a little argument."

"_Harry!"_

"What is it?"

"Think back to an hour ago. What was happening?"

"Why should I care?"

"Just do it, you big idiot."

Romilda was about to shoot her a nasty retort, but Harry held up a hand. "Let me think."

"Harry, were you in love with her yesterday?"

"Hold on. I was waiting for Ginny…we were going to get a snack together. Romilda came in- offered me those cauldrons- and then I felt really odd… and then…" he stopped in horror. "Sweetie, were those Cauldrons spiked with Love Potion?"

She gave a sulky, "yes."

"Why? You knew I was going out with Ginny."

"That was the _problem! _She's not good enough for you!"

Unfortunately for the redhead, the Love Potion was still in effect. "Right," he said, kissing her on the nose. "You're the only one for me."

Ginny gaped. "When will it wear off?"

Romilda just smirked at her, and Harry looked at her helplessly. "I'm sorry."

"Not your fault," she said dismissively, but she was seething inside. How dare Romilda imply- no, outright say- that she wasn't good enough for Harry?

"You low life scum," she spat at Romilda. "You must be pretty pathetic to have to slip him a potion to get him in love with you." To Harry she said, "Let's get you to Slughorn. He can fix this. We're lucky she didn't use Amortentia, that's high-strength Love potion and would be even worse. "C'mon."

"I want to stay with Romilda," he whined. "Besides, we'll miss class."

Hermione, completely going against Harry's image of her, said, "Who cares?"

"Rebel."

"A true nonconformist," she said cheerfully. They continued down to the dungeons where Prof. Slughorn's office was. She rapped loudly on the door with her knuckles and called "Professor?"

A large, round, luxuriously dressed man waddled out. "May I help you?"

"We need a Love Potion antidote _pronto, _Professor," she gasped anxiously. "Have you got one?"

"Amortentia?"

"No. Ignisia."

"Medium strength? All right. Wait here, Miss Granger." He went back inside his office and emerged a moment later with a tiny vial in his hand. "This much will do."

"Does it taste nasty, Professor?" asked Hermione.

He gave her a grandfatherly smile as he replied, "Luckily not, Miss Granger. I've heard this variation tastes rather like lemonade."

She nodded, took the vial and gave it to Harry. "Here, drink this. _Then _go make amends with your real girlfriend." But Harry shook his head. "I'll break her heart. She's my everything."

"How so?" Hermione asked, just to see if the potion was wearing off yet.

"The sun rises and sets on her command… her eyes are _hypnotizing, _Hermione. You can get lost in them… she's like a goddess come into my life." He stopped abruptly when he heard Hermione making retching noises. "Not funny," he said severely. "It's _true."_

"Please drink this," she said.

Harry, having forgotten just what it was his friend had been trying to offer, took it without hesitation. But then he suddenly remembered and snarled at her.

Hermione got an idea. "Look! Romilda's over there!" she shouted, pointing at a spot across the room. Harry's head snapped behind him to search for the girl. Discreetly, she cast a Thirsty Charm on the vial.

"No she's not," Harry said. "Are all of your jokes in poor taste?" he said. Then his eyes fell on the vial. "Ooh! Gimme that," he snatched the vial from her hands and downing the liquid. Hermione waited, on tenterhooks as she watched intently for a reaction.

Slowly, the dreamy look dissipated from Harry's eyes and he shook himself as if scaring away an errant fly. "Hey, mate," he said as he took in his surroundings. "Uh… what time is it?"

"Nearly time for class," she said, glancing at her delicate gold watch.

Harry moaned dejectedly. "Ginny's going to _murder _me! I stood her up for our lunch date!" and then he remembered exactly why he'd ditched on their date. "And then she'll resurrect me and kill me again! Oh, what've I done?" he put his head in his hands.

"Just what I was thinking," came her acidic voice from the doorway.

_*evil laughter* Yes! The story ends THERE! All of your worst nightmares have just come true! Lol, anyway hope you enjoyed it. PM me more story ideas! Reviews and constructive criticism are much appreciated! Notice how I said constructive criticism, __not flames. PS: Ignis means 'flame' in Latin, it reminded me of passion, so Ignisia is just another form of love potion.__ That's all, bye._

_Twilightlover001_


	2. The Tables Turned

_Okay, ladies, gents, and Muggles! Yes, second chapter up so soon, you're astonished, now get over it. Anyway, this is a Snape's Worst Memory AE. Snape lovers and James lovers, beware!_

_Big thanks to my beta, madmanwithascrewdriver._

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**-The Tables Turned-**

"And I'd consider washing your pants, _Snivellus," _Lily said coolly before stalking off.

_Jeez, what's wrong with you? You're horrible at making friends, but you're awfully good at getting rid of them. You're mixed up in the head, Snape, calling your only friend a Mudblood! And what is this crap spell Potter's put on you? It's not Levicorpus... and don't think you can Leviosa humans, either..._

"No wonder all your schoolbooks are second hand, Snivellus. Imagine what the rest of your undergarments look like!"

_I'm never going to live this down. _"Says the person who has purple- spotted boxers."

A few people giggled, and someone shouted, "Hey Snape! How d'you know what boxers James wears?"

"I think I saw them going into the Room of Requirement together…"

"Oh my gosh, are they secretly dating?"

"This is a façade?"

James looked revolted. It was Severus who shouted, "We are doing no such thing!"

"Why should we believe a slimy Slytherin?"

"Greaseball!"

"Yeah, I heard he washes his hair, like, once a millennia!"

"Is he a vampire?"

"Vampires aren't greasy, dummy."

_Vampire? Do they not see me eating food every day? _"I wash my hair every day, you great prat!" Severus yelled to the crowd at large. Abruptly, he crumpled to the ground as James released him from the spell.

He was on his feet in a moment, letting out a stream of expletives and jinxes mixed together.

"Wash out your mouth," James said coldly. "Scourgify!"

His mouth filled with horrid pink bubbles that he immediately started choking on.

"Y'nopottryragrtbdyfaliryndat?"

"Excuse me? You're foaming at the mouth," James said in mock politeness, then cracked up, as did Sirius and Peter. Lupin looked a little worried, he wasn't defending Snape but he wasn't joining in either.

Severus made another attempt to rid his mouth of the foul soap.

"I- said, Potter, you're a b- big failure."

"Yeah? Any particular reason, you greasy half-blood?"

"Well for one thing, you hang round with w-"

James muttered a few words and then Severus' tongue was locked to the roof of his mouth. No one could actually _see _this, of course, so he just charged at Potter in a display of Muggle dueling rather then using wandless magic. Severus may have been a stringy kid, but he could pack a lot of power into his punches.

James, caught off guard, took a critical hit to the face. Severus didn't have time to celebrate his victory, because James retaliated with a punch to the gut, even though his nose was spewing blood.

_Ew, nasty, _Severus thought as he was knocked backward off his feet. Luckily he caught himself before he landed on his backside, that would be just _great. _Not that it mattered anyway. He didn't have anything to lose now. _How is this my life? _Right now he was seriously contemplating killing someone. _That doesn't exclude myself. _There wasn't anyone to care. Severus was pulled out of his head by a _Tarantallegra! _At which he started leaping around uncontrollably. Where the _hell _were any of the teachers? Well, not all of them would necessarily help- Dumbledore would call it 'a harmless schoolboy prank' and McGonagall would try to overlook it because it was one of her Gryffindors, and Slughorn would just laugh and say something like 'they're just roughhousing' or some other reassuring lie, much like that old fool of a Headmaster. Just then he became aware that everyone was hooting at him, and shouting out.

"Never knew you danced so well, Snivellus!"

"What music inspired _that?"_

"That Muggle idiot, whatshisname, Mozfart, or something."

Snape felt like shouting 'Mozart,' but held his tongue. He liked classical music, actually. He settled for cursing fluently in Latin. What had started out as a peaceful evening of studying had quickly changed into a terrifying experience. _Good thing they don't know any of my personal hexes, or I'd be dead right now. _Severus silently summoned his wand and cast _Finite Incantatem _at himself, then pointed the wand at James. _"Levicorpus!"_ he shouted and James was dangling by his ankle in the air. _"Evanesco!" _and his trousers disappeared. Severus nearly laughed himself silly at the sight he met. "Silk pants? You've lost your mind." _Ha ha ha! Now the tables are turned, see how you like it._

The girls, meanwhile, were oohing and aahing over getting to see Potter's pants.

"This is the privilege of the century."

"Is there a men's Victoria's Secret?"

"There must be, or where'd he get those?"

"Michael Kors?"

"Michael Kors is a _Muggle,_ Robyn. James Potter is a _pureblood_."

"Name one- no, two famed Wizarding designers."

"Irene Insignia and Amariana Asphodel. Name two other Muggles."

"Coco Chanel and Christian Louboutin. Great heavens, wizards have designers."

"No duh."

"_Padfoot! _Get me down!"

"Snivellus! Get him down!"

"Oh, sweet mother of Merlin! Get him down!"

"_Padfoot! Moony!"_

"_Snivellus! Moony!"_

"Deal with it," Lupin snapped.

Peter just gaped at James.

"_Merlin's mother! Pettigrew!" _said Severus. _You just got served, rich boy._

"C'mon, guys. None of you know the counterjinx to this?"

Severus smiled smugly. "Have fun getting your bum rescued by McGonagall."

The other three Marauders goggled at both of them, then started firing off every counterjinx they could think of. "Finite! Finite Incantatem!"

"What's the difference?"

"Do I _look _like I know? Ennervate!"

"It's _Rennervate, _you fool."

"Those only work for a S_tupefy, Locomotor Mortis _or _Pe__trificus Totalus."_

"Then help us!"

Remus lifted his hands. "Sorry, mate. Nobody ever mentioned Levicorpus or its countercurse."

_And I don't intend to. _"Hey Potter! How long until your head explodes?"

"I'll- I'll have your hide, you great nasty horrible git."

"Come on, Snape," Sirius approached him and Severus tensed. "Give us the countercurse and we'll leave you alone for an entire month."

"No dice," Severus spat, turning away and striding back across the grounds.

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_You poor things probably thought you were going to find out what happened, didn'__t you? Ah well. I'm doing you a big favor anyway, now you can imagine your own ending! Maybe Snape caves! Maybe he gets busted by the authority! Anyhow, hope you enjoyed this chapter. Adios, amigas!_

_Twilightlover001_


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